Copyright © 2003 Dale Mellor. This work may be reproduced in whole or in part, or used as the basis for a derived work, provided the following notice is displayed in its entirety. "This work has been written with reference to an original work by Dale Mellor, 'The Defenders of the Laws of Physics', the script of which can be perused on the World Wide Web at Any work which is derived directly or indirectly from the original work must display this notice in its entirety."


by Dale Mellor


The episodes are

  1. The Law of Rigid Buses.
  2. The Law of Parabolic Flight.
  3. The Law of Warm Clothing.
  4. The Law of Independent Minds.
  5. The Law of Equal Perception.
  6. The Law of Unique Time.

as outlined below.

Episode 1. The Law of Rigid Buses (script enclosed).

This episode introduces the characters; descendents from a distant part of the cosmos with the ability to change the laws of the universe at will. Two youngsters come to earth for their own amusement and cause chaos by messing about with the reality of the existence of the human race, and two law enforcers (the Defenders of the Laws of Physics) follow them and try to make amends for the damage they cause.

In the first episode, one of the youngsters in a spate of anger kicks a double-decker London bus, and from that point onwards all buses bend as they go round corners.

To undo this mess, the Defenders must enter a bus depot at night when all the buses are stationary and straight, and carefully kick one of them back into shape. This, however, does not work as the youngsters took away a small part of the original bus they bent, without which the reverse operation will never work.

Episode 2. The Law of Parabolic Flight.

The youngsters see a kid throwing a frisbee, and seek the same enjoyment that he seems to be getting. One of them picks up an ordinary football, and thinking that making things fly however one wanted was normal, throws the ball to his colleague along a strange path. The ball rises, then floats at constant height through the air, before descending to the recipient, just as if it was a frisbee.

In doing this the law of parabolic ballistic flight is broken, and all things airborne start to move in similar ways. People realize that a more efficient way of walking now exists. Streets resemble platform video games as people bound-float along pavements.

The Law is rectified by the Defenders setting up a three-way smash, and encouraging parabolic flight again by firing at the objects to cause them to change levels. The law is restored when the three objects (a football, a very fast car, and a huge snowball) all collide in something resembling parabolic flight, and the myriad pieces fall apart with true parabolic flight. Because there are so many small pieces, the law is preserved for all objects on the planet.

Lots of injuries occur in the streets as people come crashing down to earth faster than they had anticipated.

Episode 3. The Law of Warm Clothing.

Seeing a beautiful woman mostly naked on a sunny beach, on a television set in wintry England in a shop window, the youngsters decide that it would be good if they walked around this place dressed like this. They decide the best way would be to invert the effect of clothing; people wrapped up in lots of it feel cold, and start to warm up when they take it off. (They go the opposite way first and make themselves colder, but eventually realize).

The Defenders have to force a winter heat-wave first to get people to put their clothes back on, and then they can change the law back by simultaneously changing the law and the weather, without hurting any of the people. Doing it like this means that everybody would forget that things had ever been different.

Episode 4. The Law of Independent Minds.

Whenever two people are in the same vicinity, they start thinking the same thoughts.

A few comical events can happen because of this.

A banker foils a robbery at his bank.

A classroom full of school kids get suddenly orgasmic.

Someone learns that he can control other people's minds. He becomes very rich through it.

A marriage falling apart falls right back together.

The way to disentangle this situation is to get a load of people into a session with a necromancer. Do lots of weird things to evoke different reactions from the different personalities, and so force their minds apart. We will have to get an incredibly eclectic bunch of people together.

Episode 5. The Law of Equal Perception.

The two delinquents find themselves arguing over the colour of a car which passes by. It is dull salmon. One argues that it is dark pink. The other argues that it is light brown. In a spate of anger one of them shouts out that it is blue.

Thereafter, everybody's perception of objects is skewed. What someone sees as red, someone else sees as green. What someone sees as square, someone else sees as round.

The episode will then consist mainly of views of situations seen in different ways by different people. There is lots of confusion. Even the T.V. news station goes off the air, as the production staff cannot agree how it should be done.

The Defenders get to work. To rectify the situation they must make everything black and white, and then introduce colours one at a time back into the reality, each time learning everyone what colour it is.

Episode 6. The Law of Unique Time.

In a last piece of mischief before departing from the planet, the youngsters send the earth twelve hours back in time, but this does not affect the metabolic or sleep patterns of the indigenous population.

The only thing they notice is that the sun `sets' on the wrong side of the sky. It makes all the difference. They suddenly feel hungry for breakfast.

The story revolves around a set of comical events that arise from this situation.

A gambler thinks he has got the ultimate secret, but it all goes pear-shaped when time runs out (anyway, the bank already knows his scam!)

A guy was originally in a very bad accident. He wraps himself in cotton wool the second time around!

A couple fell in love the first time around, and boy do they enjoy doing it again!!

In the end, the Defenders decide there is nothing really they can do about this situation. They just let the population adjust naturally to the new timeline. We can put one storyline in about sleepy workers, who actually manage to turn the tables on their boss.

Go to the script of the first episode.